I’ve always been a fairly self-centered individual…until
I had my first child. Then it became not
so much about me, but about her. Then
there came child number two, and suddenly, I became lost in the shuffle.
Throughout these last two months, I have struggled with
my obligation to my children vs. my obligation to the challenge. I already have mommy guilt supreme since I’m currently
working two jobs. As a general rule, I
try to save my writing until after the kids have gone to bed, but I’m still
gone the majority of the day.
Last week on my way out the door to go to the gym, my
youngest grabbed at me and said “I don’t’ want you to go exercise”. Now, keep in mind – she’s a pretty cute
kid. She has a big round face and
naturally curly blond hair. Throw in
those big blue eyes of hers and it’s nearly impossible to say no to her. In fact, I almost didn’t. I was just about to
throw my gym bag on the floor and stay home when it hit me. The best thing I could do in that moment was
leave.
As mothers we believe in doing whatever we can for our
kids. We sacrifice our alone time, our
husband time, and whatever else we need to better their lives. Because I’ve not taken the necessary time to
work on myself over these last few years, I’ve potentially sacrificed the very
thing both my kids and myself regard as being most important—time.
By not working out, by not eating healthy, I’ve potentially taken years
off my life. In the short term, by
sacrificing that ‘me’ time, I’ve given my children a fraction of the mom I
could be. I don’t have energy, I’m tired
all the time, I’m stressed out, and I spend more time covering myself up at the
beach then enjoying time in the water with them.
That’s not quality time.
So, I gave my child a kiss and told her I would be home
in a couple hours. I don’t go to the gym
every night, just a couple nights a week.
But since going to the gym, I’ve regained bone-density, I’m less
fatigued, and far less stressed out than I was.
I try to work out at home when I can, but I still benefit from the
sessions spent with the trainer so I’m willing to give up a few hours with my
kids. By doing this, I’m showing both my
daughters that it’s okay to make yourself a priority sometimes. And hopefully they grow up knowing that
personal health is hugely important. And
hopefully they’ll understand that my short term sacrifice will benefit our
entire family in the long run.
